highjack

[TexasCanesFan]

I like to think of Jesus with, like, big eagle's wings, singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, an angel band, and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk.

Lightning is gonna hit you sooner or later.

Do not stand close to me.

[TX Rattlesnake]

I believe whatever doesn't kill you makes you.....stranger.

[HORSEMOVER]

I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt cause it says like I wanna be formal but I love to party too. I like to party so I like my Jesus to party.

[Sean]

Lightning is gonna hit you sooner or later.

Do not stand close to me.

Why? Thats a compliment.

[Cousin]

I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sean]

Real simple, son! Cops are coming! There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam underneath the car! Time to be a man! You got hair on your peaches or what?

[HORSEMOVER]

I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.

[TX Rattlesnake]

So when you say psychosomatic, you mean, like, he can start a fire with his thoughts?

[Cousin]

I'm gonna come at you like a Spider Monkey!

[HORSEMOVER]

There is something I want to get off my chest. It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude. it was weird, I... I mean you probably didn't hear about it because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow. That I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho.